Maybe, but definitely sometimes.

My darling,

The dust dances in the golden streams of sunlight, as if time is slowed.
Flooding the room with warmth, this moment feels comfortable.
White-washed window frames, high ceilings and glass French doors.
The scent of warm wood and fresh spring blooms fill the room.

Here is where my mind escapes the madness.
The overwhelming presence of my reality.
The battle between who I know I am and who I think I am.
I’m at war – fighting for freedom from my demons.

You meet me there; somewhere vast and full of space, secrets.
I dream of you while I’m awake.
We talk, you’re there, and you’re bound by my lost regret and unfulfilled futures.
You’re forced into puppetry and words that aren’t yours – to fulfil a future that will never exist because I can’t resolve the reality that there was nothing I could do.

I can’t accept that we just weren’t meant to be.

I blame myself, because that way I still have control.
If I blame me, the future could/should/would have been different.
If I blame me I can pretend there was another outcome.
I can pretend we might have worked.
I can pretend you might have loved me.
Maybe, but definitely some times.

 

Review: Adrian McKinty – The Cold Cold Ground

Being a somewhat unprofessional reader, I can’t say I’m exceedingly well read, or that I’m aware of all the great novelists of my (our?) time.

One sunny twitter day, I was scrolling through my feed when an animated video began to play. Phrase by phrase I was sucked into wanting, NEEDING to read this book. Drama, thrill and shocking crime – this book had me. This book was The Chain by Adrian McKinty. Currently on pre-order until July, I wanted to whet my palate with some of his previous titles.

I accidentally began with the first book in his Sean Duffy series – The Cold Cold Ground.

Image result for the cold cold ground
Photo: Allen & Unwin

Before I begin, I should admit, I have no idea what has happened/is happening in politics in the UK & Ireland – however, after reading this book, my heart and mind are fairly invested and curious into its history and the more recent developments.

I do love a book that stimulates further research and makes me curious about my own ignorance.

I’m not a massive fan of long winded reviews, so let me just say this:

  • Sean Duffy – An insanely well developed, well-rounded character. He’s flawed and imperfect, whilst retaining his sense of self.
  • Story Line – Fast paced, hard to predict, immersive, stimulating and satisfying.
  • Writing Style – Easy to read, not complex, and flows well.
  • Pros – Easy to read, moves quickly, informative/educational and immersive.
  • Cons – The story could use more thrill. Though I don’t necessarily dwell on this, as it was hardly an issue. When I closed the book, I just remember hoping for a more thrilling end.

I’ve ordered I Hear The Sirens in The Streets and I’m excited for it’s arrival. Will review the next book and see if it fares as well.